I try to escape the trappings of my inherent misery. It has seemed, since birth, that there has been a defect attached to my heart.

The incessant beating causes my hands to tremble, my thoughts to scatter. The anxiety starts as a rumble in my heart, reverberating into all corners of my mind, refusing to be silenced.

This defective heart continuously screams doubt into my blood, echoing questions that gnaw at my soul:

“Are you sure you’re good enough?”
“What makes you so self-assured?”
“Your reality is simply a forcibly made delusion.”

Over and over, I try to calm my heart with songs—those fleeting moments of solace that speak of love, adventure, travel, and the burning desires that feel just out of reach.

Yet, no matter how hard I try, it beats as if it’s been running a marathon all my life, screaming its deafening doubt, poisoning my blood, saturating my essence.

Its numbness has infected my legs, leaving them heavy. My thoughts. My lips, once so eager to speak. My eyes grow weary.

I can no longer look up and reach out; all I do now is listen to that same continuous sound of despair. It has started to infiltrate my ears—haunting whispers that follow me when I look deep into human eyes. This sorrowful song corrupts joy, stifles dreams.

I want to live, truly live, to breathe in the richness of existence, for I miss a silence I’ve never gotten to hear—a stillness untouched by fear.

I long to look into someone’s eyes and see worlds I can’t comprehend, filled with colors and nuances beyond my own rusted reflection. I want to feel that connection dissolve the barriers built by this jaded heart.

So, I’ve decided to sell my heart here on eBay.

Bids start at one dollar and ninety-nine cents—an ironic price for a treasure so burdened yet so yearning for a life it has never fully experienced.

March 31, 2025